Obviously I love Parks and Recreation and the day designated by Donna Meagle & Tom Haverford called "Treat Yo-Self" day (The best day of the year!). I always tell people before they go shopping with me that if you are the kind of person who doesn't like to buy stuff or you're always on the fence... don't shop with me. If you ask me, "should I get this?" 9 times out of 10 I will say "You deserve it! Get it for yourself!". For me, retail therapy is a real thing. Maybe for you, running is therapy (although I'll never understand how or why...) or going to a coffee shop to read is your therapy. These are all forms of self-care, which is essential to your mental health. Chances are, if you're not taking care of yourself physically, your mental health probably isn't at it's best. However, if you're depressed, you may not have the motivation or energy to put into self-care. It can be a vicious cycle.
I want to use this blog post to talk about how important I think it is to have some kind of therapist/counselor/doctor or professional in your life. Self-care is essential, but having someone come along side of you to support you or keep you accountable may be a vital piece of the puzzle. Here are some of the possible options that might be out there for you:
1. Pastor/Clergy: If you come from a faith-based background, a good starting point may be talking to someone from your church. There was a time when I was struggling with my anxiety and I kept telling myself "if I was better at trusting God, I wouldn't be so anxious" and I constantly put the blame on myself and never got any better. Talking to someone who has a deep knowledge of the Bible could have been really helpful to me at that time. I have since done some reading on my own and fun fact: depression is addressed in the Bible. The word itself is not used, but there are plenty of examples in scripture of men who are described as "Godly" are very clearly depressed or even suicidal - David, Job, Elijah and Jonah to name a few. (Here is an excellent article I found about the topic). Also, I am not 100% sure, but if funds are tight and you can't afford therapy or it isn't covered by insurance, I believe your pastor may meet with you at no cost.
2. Counselor: Often, counselors are not doctors, but they do have formal training and a high degree of education (masters degree). The definition of this word pretty much gives the description of what a counselor does. "A person trained to give guidance on personal, social, or psychological problems." I see a Christian counselor on a monthly basis and we often talk about how I'm feeling and going through and approaches that I can take to deal with the struggles that come up. A counselor would be great to help you come up with a plan or approach to better self-care or for example, if you have extreme anxiety, a counselor might talk you through what happens when you get anxious and what steps you might take in the future to help you recognize, deal with and work through your anxiety when it hits you.
3. Family Doctor: My family doctor manages my medication. I first started working with him when I got out of the hospital after my suicide attempt. He has always been incredibly thorough with me. Knowing my history, when he first put me on medication, he said "I'm only giving you a 7 day supply of this- don't even try to overdose because you won't be able to, and I want to see you back in a week and we'll talk about how you're doing." After that, he saw me every 2 weeks, then every month and so on. He actually called me on the day my dad died because he heard about what happened and wanted to check on me. He is very open with me in talking about all the medication out there and the fact that it can be a very long process to find the right medication and right dosage to be effective and I can tell that he wants to make sure that we get it right.
4. Psychologist: After the hospital, I was required to go to an outpatient program. Once I completed that, I was teamed up with a psychologist to see on a regular basis. The first thing we did together was come up with a formal treatment plan - what are my biggest struggles? What are my goals? How can I achieve them? Who can help me with that? Every 3 months, we evaluate my plan and add or take away goals as needed and assess if I have improved or regressed. For a long time, I would see her on a weekly basis; now we are every other week. Psychologist have a doctorate degree and have to be licensed so they have a lot of education and training. My psychologist has a lot of training in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) & DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). Often she'll give me handouts that may relate to what we've talked about that day - self soothing, wise mind, radical acceptance, etc.
These things I have listed above are all methods that I have used, but that doesn't mean that is all that is out there. I am blessed to have amazing team around me. I have seen a lot of commercials for Talkspace, and I think that sounds like a great tool because I know a lot of people may not go to therapy because making that first appointment and actually going can be so scary and difficult. Having the option to get therapy in the comfort of your own home is genius (introverts rejoice!). Another option could be getting a mentor or someone who will check in with you on a regular basis. I know it is scary and intimidating to admit that you need professional help but there is NOTHING wrong with that. Admitting that you are struggling and reaching out to someone who is better trained than you shows strength, not weakness. You can do it! Help yo-self! ❤
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