I know that generally you should steer away from potentially controversial conversations when talking to people, so I think that same rule probably applies to blogging. However, I am going to tackle a topic here that might have some very strong opinions on either side of it. This is your warning! If you have been following my blog, you know that my dad took his own life, and many of you who know me well are aware of the method he used- a gun. I have never been anti-gun, and to this day, it may surprise you to know that I am not against people owning weapons. I take issue with how easy it is to obtain a firearm.
The gun store my dad went to was just down the road from my parent's house - roughly 3-4 minutes maybe? On Monday, October 30, 2017, that store opened at 10:00 am and from what we found out later, my dad was there waiting when they opened (apparently not a red flag?). My mom's 911 call was at 10:17 am. That means in the span of 17 minutes, my severely depressed father bought a gun, drove home, backed into the garage, loaded it, opened his car door and fired it. Roughly 10 minutes to buy a gun. Seriously? My uncle hit the nail on the head when he made the comment that he has waited longer for a drink at Starbucks than my dad did for that gun. Forgive my language here, but that is really fucked up.
Some very kind local police officers sat down with me, my sister and my uncle the next day to answer any questions that we might have. They informed us that they looked into the paperwork he filled out at the gun store. Apparently there is a question on there that asks if you have had any mental health related issues before; my dad answered no. Lying to obtain a firearm is a felony, so technically my dad should be arrested and have his gun taken away. That's really helpful now isn't it? I want to be clear that I am not blaming the store owner - he was doing his job and was following the current laws that are in place. I am also not blaming the gun. I know that if my dad had not succeeded in taking his life that day, there is a high probability that he would have tried to do it another way. Usually a suicidal person has more than one plan just in case their "plan A" doesn't work.
Growing up, we didn't have guns in the house. Nobody in my family was a hunter and we never had any kind of weapons at home. My parents didn't love guns, but they weren't militant about shielding us from the fact that they existed. They didn't let us have any kind of play guns and didn't buy any video games that used them, but at the same time, they had 3 girls and none of us really were into that kind of stuff anyway. For anyone reading who is not from this area, Lancaster County is generally pretty conservative and people love to go hunting. The first Monday after Thanksgiving, there were often many kids absent from school because of rifle season. It is a big tradition around here as I'm sure it is in many parts of the country. My brother-in-law is a hunter and I know every year that he got a deer, my dad would always like to eat the bologna and ground meat. I know hunting in some way, shape or form is a very normal thing. I also know that MOST GUN OWNERS ARE INCREDIBLY RESPONSIBLE WITH THEIR WEAPONS. Unfortunately, there are people out there who are not responsible with their firearms and that is why we hear way too many stories about young children dying because they were playing with a gun.
To operate a vehicle (a potential deadly weapon) in Pennsylvania, you need to take a test online, have a permit for 6 months (while you have that permit you must always drive with another licensed driver), then take a driver's test with an evaluator in the car with you. I don't know if they still do it, but I had to take half a year of driver's ed in 10th grade as well. They do all of these things to make sure you are responsible enough to be out on the road. They don't want you to be a danger to yourself or others. Why are there not more strict laws in place to make sure someone is responsible and trained before they can get a gun? Can you imagine what the roads would be like if the process to get a driver's license was the same as it is to get a gun?
I started typing this post months ago and it sat in my "drafts" forever. I was inspired to finish it because yesterday, my sister went to the state capitol building in Harrisburg for National Gun Violence Survivors Week. The group Moms Demand Action invited her to be a speaker. She was able to tell our story and the profound effect that my dad's death had on our life. Would he still be here today if he wasn't able to get a gun so quickly that day? Maybe... maybe not. We will unfortunately never know. For any of you who are super, hardcore NRA enthusiasts, I'm not trying to advocate for taking your guns. I respect the 2nd amendment and the foundations that our forefathers laid down for us as the were helping to build our country. I know a lot of people see red when they start wading into the gun debate; it's a topic that I stayed far away from for years.
I will end with a quote from my sister's Instagram post about her experience yesterday:
"The easy access to a firearm in our country is both frightening and incredibly maddening. I shared his story yesterday and will continue to share it in hopes of continuing a dialogue and seeking solutions on this complex and important topic."
These 2 photos below were captured by a wonderful family friend, Jenny Foster, who has taken some wonderful photos for us over the years!
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