Silent Night

One of my fondest memories of Christmas time was when we went to the Christmas Eve church service as a family. The format was pretty much the same every year- sing hymns with some scripture readings and performances mixed in. There were a few times that Jenn and I played piano duets for the service. My favorite part was when they would turn all the lights off, everyone lit their candles and we sang "Silent Night". After the song was over, we would blow out the candles, sing "Joy to the World" and go home. For me, this is what made it feel like Christmas. I don't know what age I was, but one year this tradition abruptly changed when they got a new senior pastor at my parents church. I know that over the years, church attendance has declined and churches are doing what they can to appeal to a younger generation, but don't mess with Christmas!

Over the next few years, we tried a couple different churches on Christmas eve, but it seemed like my beloved tradition was gone. I no longer felt the Christmas spirit after any of these services... truthfully I felt pretty angry. In recent years, we all kind of did our own thing- mom and dad went to their church, my sister Jenn and her family went to their church, and Greg went back to Philly to his church. I sang in the choir of a local Lutheran church with my friend Jesse for a few years, but I was never able to get back that Christmas spirit feeling I once felt when I was younger.

My other favorite memory was going to my grandma's on Christmas day for food (and presents, but this kid was looking forward to the carbs). Grandma's mashed potatoes were my favorite thing ever to eat, and I just loved her cooking. Whenever I ate at grandma's, it's like I had extra stomachs because I could really put away the food. It's kind of amazing that I'm not 600 lbs because I love to eat 😂... Anyway, as grandma got older, she could do less and less and eventually the large Christmas lunch went away, and then over the past 5 or so years, we would go to the nursing home to see her and my uncle Jon. Up until this year, I had seen my grandma on Christmas day every single year for my entire life.

As Christmas approached this year, I felt so bummed. Dad is gone. Grandma is gone. Jon is gone. Any semblance of my favorite Christmas traditions is gone. I am relieved that it is over, and even more relived that I no longer work in public accounting and have to jump right into tax season. I don't miss those work hours for months at a time at all. I hope some year that I feel festive and that my Christmas spirit comes back, but no matter how much of a scrooge I am, I always love hearing the beautiful, classic Christmas hymns. 🎄🎀